Have you heard of the poem 'Welcome to Holland'? It is about how it feels to find out that your child is autistic but can just as easily be applied to many other disabilities. If you do not know it, you can read it here. As far as I know parents of disabled children either love it or hate it. I must confess I really do not like it. Life with Nathan is not, and will never be, a second choice destination. He is a true gift from God and my perfect child. The best way I can sum it up is 'I never felt entitled to Italy', with Italy presumable meaning having a child that has 'nothing wrong' with it. Children are precious gifts, whether or not they can walk, whether or not they are autistic, whether or not they have behavioural challenges. It does not change their value as a human being. My life would not have been better, richer or nicer if Nathan had not been brain damaged. Easier maybe. But not better. It would have been very empty if he had not been born. 

A child is always a gift, whether 'perfect' in the eyes of the world or not. No one knows that better than those who have experienced or still experience the pain of childlessness. Except maybe those of us who are given a child with special needs (please do not say 'Special babies for special mummies within my earshot. That would be a very unwise thing to do. I can explain if you wish). Those who need to face up to the fact that there are people out there who think that their child is second rate, should not have been born, is a burden. 

A child is received by raising empty hands to God, not by going to a dealership and ordering size, colour and specification. A child is given. 

My Nathan is perfect. I've just been to check on him as he sleeps and yes I can confirm he is perfect. He is my baby, my miracle, my 

''Gift to me
A song that's free
Coming Down in Time and Season
From a higher place
and higher ways
and a Love that gives no reason''
(Martyn Joseph, Gift to me - this is my Nathan song, I sang it to him when he was inside me, when he was crying as a baby, and at his baptism). 

Maybe there are people who firmly plan to go to Italy. They will come a cropper one way or another. Their child is bound to disappoint them one way or another, or life will. Me, I am blessed. Truly and utterly blessed. And in love with my amazing child, who was fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139)