Advent 5

I am exactly where I need to be

Late tonight. It's been a day. Today I have been reminded of the village. the tribe the Lord has placed me in. My team lead unexpectedly had to be absent from the middle of the day for the foreseeable and suddenly an already pressured job is a lot more pressured. 

But I'm not alone

Wendy gave me a bottle of Coke Zero that I had not been able to pop out for but very much needed to get through emergency sorting of court cases. 

I have a wonderful team of lawyers, parelegals and trainees around me and we got so much done and supported each other. 

Fellow supervisor Helen was a rock, senior solicitor Lydia was empowering and supportive. 

The wonderful Suzanne stepped in at home so I could stay later. 

Natalya, Abbie and Amy provided moral support. 

Council provided carers already had Nathan showered and dressed in his PJs when I finally got home. 

Dee, Lizzie and Val from my home group came for a cuppa, and to keep me company as I destressed. 

Nathan was understanding despite having his routine completely upended with no warning. 

Carry each other's burdens and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ - Galatians 6:2 

Advent 4

 I am exactly where I need to be

I would lie if I said it was easy to start again after a shock end to my marriage, alone with a teenager with complex needs. I didn't think I could, but I had to so I did. 

6 months later I ended up seeing my GP and sai the words 'I thought I was doing ok after my husband exploded our marriage', His eyebrows ended up in his hair. I had as usual underestimated the emotional impact of what happened. 

But I was exactly where I needed to be, in a home that was safe, clean from his hoarded clutter, more suitable to Nathan than ever, and surrounded by loving friends who just kept being there for me. New routines, new adventures, a new normal. 

He never took His hand off us. 

When hard pressed I cried to the Lord; He brought me into a spacious place - Psalm 118:5

Advent Three

I Am Exactly Where I Need To Be

Not long into this unwanted adventure for one, God spoke to me quite clearly: You are My rose on the Rock, You are a beautiful rose, vulnerable yet strong, and a bit spikey, and you stand on the Rock that is Me Nothing will happen to you without Me and I will keep you safe. I AM solid. You cannot fall. 

At a time where the man who abandoned me for other women and walked out on his son seemed to have it all - freedom, new relationships - while I carried the load of single parenthood, God made me see that I had the richer life, the more real life, because I was kept securely on the Rock, a rock not shaken by circumstances, but unwavering. 

Three years later I still feel that way. There is resentment over how his selfish decisions restrict my freedom, but it is fleeting and there is much gratitude for my, true, freedom. 

For in the day of trouble He will keep me safe in his dweliing and he will hide me in the shelter of his secret tent - and set me high upon a rock.

Psalm 27:5
 

Advent Two

 I am exactly where I need to be.

When we moved to Leamington, Peter strongly wanted to sell the house. I did not and unusually held fast, becoming a reluctant landlady. Less than two years later I was very grateful for this as Nathan and I were able to move home. 

Back to our old house to heal and start again. 

The house that became a home again through the friends that loved and surrounded us, who decorated, cleaned, repaired, schemed, moved, connected and cooked. Who just wanted us out of there and safely home. The family that God placed us in. 

Friends connected with other friends who they at that point did not know. The girlfriend of the son of a close friend weeded the garden. I was barred from my bedroom for a week while it had a makeover. Things just happened. I felt so very rich in the middle of fear, shellshock and sadness. 

God sets the lonely in families - Psalm 68:6.